Achieve your Goals!

Overcoming obstacles to achieve success!

It’s not always easy to achieve our goals, especially when we have things holding us back or standing in our way.  Fear, lack of desire or will power, excuses of no time/money/energy, or simple procrastination.  The good news is, these things are COMPLETELY in your control!  Let’s tackle them today and clear the way for a new and improved you!

Fear

We all have fears that hold us back from our own success.  Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of the unknown.  Sometimes the fear is simply that we’ve tried in the past and didn’t accomplish the goal and we’re afraid to try again.  Whatever your fear, it’s time to let it go.  The past is over and today is a new day!  Let’s try it again!

It sounds simple, but I know it isn’t.  When fears pop into your mind, the best thing to do is to simply acknowledge it, “I seem to be feeling a fear of failure right now.”  And then thank your brain for trying to keep you safe, “I appreciate that you’re trying to keep me safe, but I’ve got this!”  And move on.  Fear is our brain’s way of reminding us of something that happened that we didn’t like.  It’s trying to keep us safe.  But so many of our fears are of past mistakes.  Did you learn from that mistake?  Did you make the change necessary in your life to avoid it in future?  If so, let the fear go.  That was then, this is now.  You’re a different person.

The other thing I like to do is ask myself, if I knew then what I know now, would I have made the same decision?  Usually, the answer is no.  So I forgive myself because I made the best decision I could at the time with the information I had available.  If I had had more information, different information, I would have made a different decision.  I try to give myself a break because we can’t know everything.  If we did our absolute best but didn’t have all of the information, then we can ask nothing more of ourselves.  Forgive yourself for being young, or uninformed, or for not seeing what someone was hiding, and move on!

Wallowing in our fears is the Number 1 way we hold ourselves back from being our absolute best self.  It’s time to stop standing in our own way and get moving!

Lack of Desire, Will-Power, Determination

Many times we aren’t successful in a goal attempt because we simply lack the desire to achieve it, or the will-power, or the determination.  How many times have we promised ourselves that we were going to get healthy and then chose a doughnut for breakfast at the office because they were there and available?  At those times, we might beat ourselves up for choosing poorly when we’re trying to get healthy, but the real question to ask yourself is “Why?”.  Why did I choose that?  Why did I not walk away?

Generally, the answer is pretty simple.  It’s habit.  It’s exhausting trying to be “good” all the time.  I’m tired of denying myself what I want.  Or, I’m not achieving my goal anyway, so I might as well go all-in and accept that this is my life.  We’ve all had these thoughts and these moments.  I call them my “moments of self-pity”.  Achieving a goal is NOT easy.  It requires dedication, determination, and will-power.  It requires the ability to force yourself to do it anyway, even when you don’t feel like it, even when you’re tired or sick or depressed.

The awesome thing about this, is that by forcing yourself to do one thing to get one step closer to your goals, you feel better and more motivated.  Don’t believe me?  Try it!  I made a goal to make my bed every single day.  It sounds silly, but the bedroom is the first place you see in the morning and the last place you see at night.  Shouldn’t it be awesome?  Even those mornings when I’m feeling terribly lazy, or sick, or just exhausted, I MAKE myself make the bed.  It only takes a minute, but afterwards, I feel so much better!  I feel like I accomplished something and am able to check it off my list.  It helps me get motivated to tackle one more thing on my list.

Another area where I must sometimes force myself to do it, is exercise.  Some days, I just don’t feel like doing it, but I force myself to do it anyway.  Once I begin, I forget that I didn’t want to do it at all and by the end of my workout, I feel amazing and accomplished.  It’s the little tasks that we don’t feel like doing, but we force ourselves to do anyway, that really help keep our momentum going.

I also make a list of things to do every day which includes all the little things like making the bed and exercising, as well as the daily tasks I’ve laid out to achieve my goals.  I cross them off the list as I do them.  On those days where I feel like I “didn’t get anything done,” or it was just a really challenging day, I am able to look over my list at the end of the day and see all of the things I actually accomplished.  It helps to keep things in perspective.  One big challenge does not mean that the day was a waste.  And remember, tomorrow is a new day!

Excuses

We all have them.  I don’t have the time.  I don’t have the money.  I don’t have the support.  I don’t have the energy.

I’m extremely busy.  I do WAY too much every day and I know that.  I used to tell myself that I didn’t have the time for something.  But the reality was, I didn’t want to make the time.  If it’s important to you, make the time.  Where in your day can you cut something out to make time for that important goal task?  I cut out Netflix.  I only watch one movie per week and I don’t have cable.  I never turn on the TV unless my grandson is visiting or it’s my movie night.  TV takes SO MUCH of our time!

I also watch a TON of YouTube videos!  I watch the videos that give me the information I’m looking for, or are motivating or inspirational to me.  I limit this to my morning coffee time and my end of day before bed time.

Social media is also a place where time can be cut back.  I reserve Sunday mornings for Facebook.  I catch up with what is going on with my family and friends then.  I do not count the work-related social media posts I do, but then, I’m not scrolling through watching videos on recipes and DIY projects, I’m just posting and moving on.  If I happen to see a video that I want to watch while I’m working, I simply save it for later.  I love this feature!

Lastly, we have games.  These are designed to keep us playing and to become addictive.  I love my games, but I have also cut back on those, keeping only the ones that I really love and removing the rest from my devices.  I have dedicated “game time” every day, time to unwind and veg-out.  That is at the end of my day as well.

So look at how you spend your time and ask yourself…where can you cut back to make room for your goals?  If you find that watching TV or playing games is more important than your goals, then perhaps you’re focusing on the wrong goals.

All of these same questions can be applied to the “no-money” excuse.  Are you spending money on things that really add no value to your life?  Can you cut back on that morning latte and treat yourself once a week instead of every day?  Can you make your lunch rather than buy lunch every day?  How often do you really need to eat out?  There are areas of our lives where we habitually spend money that don’t add value to them.  Find those areas and try cutting back to once a week and see what happens.

I don’t have the support is an excuse I hear a lot.  I want to eat healthier, but my spouse refuses to do it with me.  How can I eat a healthy diet when my partner is always bringing junk-food into the house?  The real question is, why are your partner’s choices affecting your behavior?

I have Crohn’s Disease and was recently diagnosed with SIBO.  I was already on a special diet for Crohn’s, but when the doctor told me about the SIBO, it meant an even more restrictive diet plus more medication.  I wanted to feel better.  My goal for a “healthy and active” lifestyle meant that I needed to address ALL areas of my health and lifestyle.  If the key to getting rid of the SIBO was changing my diet drastically, then that was what I was going to do.  The SIBO Diet, isn’t fun: no sugar, no carbs, no grains and fruits and vegetables are extremely limited.  I was supposed to do it for at least 30 days while I was taking the antibiotics.  My boyfriend understood that this was my diet, but was uninterested in doing the diet with me.

What I found was that, in choosing to be healthy and get healthy, it didn’t matter what he chose for himself.  I didn’t have a problem with him eating that candy bar in front of me, because I knew it would make me sick and I was finally feeling great!  I wasn’t sick all the time, wasn’t in pain all the time.  I had more energy and felt better than I had in years.  I was also working on my goal to live that healthy and active lifestyle every single day and I felt great about that!

So the support you think you need, you don’t really need it, you want it.  And if you’re honest with yourself, I think you’ll find that you can still find a way to achieve your goals without it.  It might not be as easy or fun, but it’s still possible!  So, what are you going to choose?

Lastly, no energy is a real issue.  We are all so busy that it’s not easy to do it all.  Like time-wasters, look at what is taking up most of your energy throughout the day.  I have the most energy first thing in the morning and for about two hours in the evening.  I choose those times to work on my goals.  Look at your energy levels throughout the day and find a way to rearrange your schedule to accommodate that.  If you’re goal is important to you and you really want to achieve it, do it when you have the most energy!

Procrastination

This one is HUGE.  Most of us do it.  There is a task we really don’t enjoy and we put it off and put it off until we HAVE to do it.  The problem is, when we do this, we are looking forward to something that we really don’t want to do.  It makes things that much harder.  Whatever the task is, do it first.  Sounds crazy, I know, but try it.  Every day there is at least one thing on my to-do list that I really don’t want to do.  I do it first and cross it off.  I also do it as quickly as possible!  I don’t want to think about it anymore, I don’t want to dread it anymore.  I just want it done and gone.  When I do this, I feel so much better and it usually takes me less time than I think it will.  Additionally, I feel lighter and happier about the rest of my day!  For this reason, I always schedule the dentist for the first appointment of the day.

Other Tips for Overcoming Obstacles

~Schedule time for maintenance tasks.  These are the tasks that you need to do regularly, i.e. laundry, dishes, take out the trash, etc.  Basic things that we all need to do, but generally put off until “necessary.”  If you put them on a regular schedule, you avoid the piles of laundry on laundry day, or hand-washing the dishes that don’t fit in the dishwasher.

~”Lack of planning on your part, does not constitute an emergency on mine.”  This is one of my favorite things!  Just because a friend or family member calls you with an “emergency,” does not mean you need to drop everything to help them.  I’m talking about those fake emergencies.  Oh, I forgot to do X and I need it done by tomorrow…can you help me?  You know the ones I’m talking about.  Learn to say no when these fake emergencies come up.  Don’t lecture them about time management or procrastination, but unless you really WANT to help, really have the time available, you can say something like, “Wow, that really sucks, but I’m sorry.  I am all booked up today.  I bet if you just sit down and start now, you’ll be able to get it done really quickly!”

If you bail them out, they will continue to come to you with these fake emergencies.  Let them feel the pressure of their own procrastination.  It won’t damage the relationship if you’re kind about your refusal, but it will let them know that they need to dig themselves out of this situation.

~Along those same lines…Learn to say No.  If you’re reliable and dependable, chances are people are always asking for your help with this thing or that.  When someone asks you if you can help them with something, learn to pause.  Say something like, “Oh, that sounds great, but I need to check my schedule to see if I can make it work.  Can I let you know tomorrow?”  Take this time to think about their request and whether or not you really want to do it.  If it is something that will bring you joy, that you’re looking forward to, or that will bring you closer to your goals, then of course, say yes!  But if you sigh when thinking about it, aren’t excited about doing it, feel that you have to say yes simply because you’re feeling obligated, try saying no.  A simple, “Hey, I looked at my schedule and as fun as that sounds, I can’t make it work right now.  Maybe I can help the next time around.”  It’s a refusal that is kind, but firm.  Don’t get dragged into the “what is more important than my garage sale” discussion, and don’t defend your answer, simply let them know, “that’s not going to work for me.”

~And finally, Boundaries!  Know your boundaries and hold the line.  I require at least three days notice for events, but I would like a week.  So if my daughter asks me to watch my grandson the day before her event, I won’t always say yes.  I do love spending time with him, but if I’m already busy, already have plans, I say no and I don’t feel bad about it.  She has learned to ask me well in advance so I can plan.

The same thing goes with friends.  As I work from home, they used to contact me and say, let’s go to lunch today.  I kindly let them know that today isn’t good.  Can we schedule it for next week?  I used to say yes to everyone for fear of hurting their feelings, but I quickly realized that if I’m feeling resentful about my day being interrupted with an unplanned event, the only person I could blame for that was me.  It’s much better to say no and reschedule for a time when you can be joyful and present with your friends and family.

The phone, text, email is another place where boundaries are VERY important, otherwise they can suck up your entire day!  As almost everyone has a phone these days, it’s easy to get in touch.  But sometimes, it’s too easy.  When we’re working, trying to get things done and we are getting texts and emails, it’s easy to get distracted.  I finally created a “work-day” schedule.  I answer business emails twice a day, personal emails about once a week.  I check my text messages about four to five times a day and respond only to those that are urgent at that time, otherwise I will answer text messages once a day.  As for phone calls…I don’t have my phone on me when I’m working.  I have a voicemail.  If it’s important, they can leave a message.  I call people back when I can.  If it’s a friend to catch up, I call back when I have a free moment.  If it’s business related, I return calls twice a day.  If it’s my daughter or my boyfriend, they know to text me if they’re calling for a “reason” that isn’t just to check in.  Without these distractions and interruptions, I’m able to get much more done.

How can you start overcoming the obstacles that are standing between you and your goals?

Tackle them today!

Reyla

 

Achieve your Goals!

Planning your success!

We have known for some time that success isn’t easy.  It requires hard work and discipline.  We are even willing to do that, but for some reason, we aren’t moving toward our goals as we would like to be.  It gets discouraging.  Maybe, it was the wrong goal, or maybe the plan wasn’t well thought out or executable.  Or sometimes, it is just a timing thing.  Whatever the case, I believe the time is now, and you need to believe it, too!

Believing that you can control your actions, your behavior, your choices is the first step toward success.  You have to want it and be willing to put yourself out there, regardless of the goal you have set.

One of my current goals is to completely declutter and deep clean my house by the end of the year.  It sounds simple, right?  Just clean and purge!  And yet, I am doing this while working seven days a week, during a busy holiday season, while trying to close the year on two businesses, dealing with my health issues,  along with starting a YouTube channel.  (I’ll keep you posted on that!).  It sounds impossible and crazy.  Don’t I have enough going on?  But if now isn’t the time to do it, when is the time?  The answer is, there is no time like now.  Yesterday is gone and tomorrow hasn’t happened yet, so all we have is today.

In order to do this, I had to break down my goal into manageable steps.  I created a 30 day decluttering plan.  I also looked at the problems I’ve faced in the past when I’ve tried to do this and didn’t succeed.  I looked at my strengths, my weaknesses, the threats to my success, my opportunities, and lastly my fears.  And I problem-solved.

My strengths: I’m good at organizing, excellent at purging.  Less is more and I truly believe that!  Plus, I love it!

My weaknesses: I am easily distracted by my boyfriend, daughter, grandson.  My energy level varies depending on the day.

My opportunities: There are days that I have more time than others to devote to this goal.  I marked those on my calendar and planned the most time-intensive areas for then.

Threats to my goal: Time-wasters (I’m addicted to Seeker’s Notes), motivation, lack of “me-time”, procrastination.

My fears: What if I finish decluttering and deep cleaning my home and I don’t feel less stress?  Don’t feel happier?

And then I planned some more.  I addressed each and every issue.  I created My Daily Routine for maintenance cleaning and wrote out a plan to address one new area each day.  I also plan my day out every morning, making certain to put at least one thing on my list for each goal I’m working on.  Those are my priorities, everything else is secondary, well…except for appointments!  I don’t always finish everything on my to-do list, but my priorities, I do my absolute best to finish.  I encourage you to see each day as a new day and create your to-do list daily.  We don’t always know what each day will bring so be flexible when you need to be, but never forget that you are a priority, too!  I made this easy to use Daily To Do List.  I laminated mine so that I could simply reuse it daily.  I don’t need to remember what I did yesterday, I simply need to focus on today.

If you filled out the No Limits Worksheet, you should know which of your goals are best suited for you right this minute.  The SWOTF worksheet, helped you narrow down your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats and fears.  I like to plan by addressing my threats, weaknesses and fears first, then looking at my strengths and opportunities.  So how will you overcome the things that have kept you from achieving your goals in the past?  Once you know this, the planning becomes much easier.  Use the Goal Worksheet to make the plan for each goal.  List the major steps and then break them down with daily tasks in your daily to-do list.

I prefer to plan backwards.  But a true goal has a “final” date.  I will declutter and deep clean my house by the end of the year (i.e. December 31, 2017).  That is a final date.  Whatever goal you give yourself, make sure to have an actual date.  Sometimes we say, we’ll do it in the next three months.  I’ve found this doesn’t usually work.  We need a calendar date.  Something to circle and keep ourselves accountable.  So instead of three months from today, we’ll say March 18, 2018.  It makes it seem much more attainable and decisive.  So working backwards from your date, mark down all the tasks that need to happen in order for you to achieve your goal.  Short-term goals should have daily tasks when you want to achieve them as quickly as possible.  You have three months.  Try to get it done in two.  I bet if you actually do something for your goal every single day, you’ll get it done faster than you think.

When you have extra time in your day, add in another task to help you take one step closer.  If you’re visual, try creating a graphic in your notebook or put it on your refrigerator.  Something you can look at daily like a thermometer tracking your goal.thermometer template

Make each line representative of the number of tasks required to achieve your goal and fill it up as fast as possible!

I would like to caution you about making goals that may not be fully in your control.  Weight-loss is one of those goals.  For years I tried to “lose weight” and I failed miserably.  I was unaware until a couple of years ago that I had a medical condition that made this very difficult.  I was always discouraged and depressed because I could achieve any goal but that!  I felt like a failure, despite the fact that I had accomplished so many other things in my life.  While I would still like to lose the weight, I have changed the goal to something within my control, “Lead a Healthy and Active Lifestyle.”  This is completely in my control.  There are things I can actively do to make this a reality, and I’m doing it.  Now, after a year and a half of working out, most of that with a personal trainer, I am finally losing weight…slowly.  But not because I am trying, and not because of my awesome trainers.  It is actually a result of finally getting my medical condition under control.

My doctor told me in April, that I could work out and diet all I wanted, but I wasn’t going to lose the weight until I found the right management for my condition.  So I began looking for something new.  That was when things began to change, when I stopped looking at the scale and started looking at my lifestyle.  I found a new doctor who helped me find those areas that needed my focus more than my weight did.  Stress-reduction was a huge part of it.  Supplements and sleep also played a huge part.  Now, my focus is simply on living that healthy and active lifestyle that I want to live.  What do I really care what the scale says so long as I feel good in my body, have more energy, less pain?  These changes are so much more than I ever thought possible that I don’t think about the extra weight the way I used to.  It is truly liberating.  I encourage you to ditch those goals that make you feel depressed and discouraged.  They are the WRONG goals.

The last thing we need for true success, is to evaluate our progress on a regular basis.  Look at your progress weekly.  If you are on track, great, how can you speed it up?  If you aren’t on track, why is that and how do you address it now before it gets out of hand?  Every day is a new day to get back on track.  Just because yesterday was difficult and you didn’t get anything done, doesn’t mean that today has to be more of the same.  Get up, make your bed, and get on with your list!

Wishing you all the best!

Reyla

Achieve your Goals!

Why resolutions don’t work

Setting goals seems easy, just decide what you want to do and then do it.  If New Year’s resolutions have taught us anything, however, this just isn’t the case.  So why do we have so much difficulty sticking to those resolutions and achieving our goals?

It’s the wrong goal.

Maybe this is a silly thing to suggest, but how realistic is your goal?  How long is it going to take you?  How much will it cost, both financially and personally?  Do you know the smaller action steps you need to take?  Are you willing to put in the time, effort, persistence it takes to make it happen?

Sometimes, the answer to these questions is simply…No.  If that’s the case, it’s the wrong goal for you.  A good example is weight loss.  Many of us want to lose weight.  We know what to do.  Exercise and eat healthy foods, in smaller portions.  Despite knowing this, many of us have been trying to lose the same 20 or 30 or 50 pounds for years.  Every year we tell ourselves that this is the year.  We get a gym membership or maybe order that new exercise program, so we can do it at home.  And we do really well…for a week.  Then something happens, and we take a day off, or we’re busy and the kids want pizza and we don’t have time to cook.

You know what I’m talking about.  The one day off, the one night of pizza turns into a second day.  Maybe we try the exercise program the next day and find that it’s really hard and we’re tired.  Maybe just another day or two off and we’ll get back to it.  And then our goal that we were so pumped about just a week or so ago, is nowhere in our heads and those pounds are just going to have to wait.

We tell ourselves that we just don’t have the time, or the energy.  We complain that our kids or significant other want pizza and junk food, and how can we possibly maintain a healthy diet with all this temptation?  We tell ourselves that this exercise program is just too much for us to begin with, so we’ll scale back and do some stretching and walk the dog before we try again.  Substitute weight loss with any other goal/resolution you’ve ever made that you didn’t achieve.

Maybe you didn’t achieve the goal because it was the wrong goal for you.  I’m not saying weight loss shouldn’t be a goal, but it probably wasn’t realistic in your mind.  Did you write it down?  Did you plan your action steps?  Did you hope you would lose five pounds a week when 1-2 is more realistic?  Did you set yourself up for failure?  Were you holding yourself accountable?  Did you tell yourself that you’d start “tomorrow”?

Real goal setting isn’t easy, neither is achieving those goals, but there is a way to help you be more successful when you decide that it’s time to kick ass and get it done!

First, make a list of everything you want to accomplish.  Remove all doubts and limits.  Don’t think about the likelihood of it happening, or how much it costs, just write it all down.  Don’t be realistic.  Be the kid making his Christmas list for Santa…put it ALL in because Santa is magic and doesn’t have a budget!

Once you’re done with your list, THEN we’ll talk about the rest.  You can use a scrap piece of paper, or use the No Limits Worksheet.  Just concentrate of filling out the first column.  We’ll get to the others next.  Here is a snippet of my list.  It’s pages long, but this will hopefully give you some idea of what types of things you can put on your list.

My list:

Magical Powers

Live a healthy and active lifestyle

Be debt free by the time I’m 45

Retire by the time I’m 50

Write a Best-seller

Appear on Ellen

Have a successful Youtube Channel

Help people realize their potential

Run a successful business

Have a healthy relationship

Travel to Scotland

Remodel the master bathroom

Put in a pool and spa

Get a Roomba

Have a clean, clutter-free and organized home

Be motivating and inspirational

Do small acts of kindness daily

 

Think of everything you might possibly want for your life.  Do not limit yourself!  The first step in goal setting is to have a clear picture in your mind (and on paper) of what you want.  In addition to making a list, you may want to create a visual representation for yourself in the form of a dream/goal board.  Something that you will see every single day to remind you of your goals.  When you read my list, you’ll notice that there are some very practical things on there, and then some that seem highly unlikely.  I will never give up wanting magical powers, but I have to admit that it probably will not happen.  It doesn’t matter.  It’s staying on my list because I still want it.

Are your goals attainable?

Now that you have a list, go through it again and ask yourself if your goal is realistic.  Put a Y in the Realistic? column if it is, and an N if it isn’t.  If it’s possible, just not highly likely, then put the Y.  Dream Big here!  If someone else has done it, then you can do it too!

The next question to ask yourself is: Can this goal be broken down into smaller, actionable steps?  If so, do I know what they are?  Put a Y into the Steps? column if you know how to break it down and what the steps are, a Y? if there are steps but you don’t know them, and an N if there are not actionable steps you can take to achieve the goal.

Time is always a factor.  Think about the time it will take you to achieve your goal.  Is it a reasonable amount of time?  Only you know if something is reasonable.  The better question might be: are you willing to work hard for that amount of time to achieve your goal?  If yes, then put a Y in the column.  If no, put an N.

Finally, what is the cost?  Is the cost reasonable to you?  The “cost” may be monetary (as in school tuition) or it may be emotional (leaving your family for months to travel abroad).  Cost could also be anything else you’d have to give up.  If one of your goals is to run a marathon, the cost may be your free time, lunch with friends, etc.  If the cost is reasonable, put a Y in the column.

Where do we begin?

Now that we have our information, find the goals that have all Y’s in the columns.  These are the goals that have the highest chance of success.  Are there any that jump out at you, any that you’re really moved to attack right now.  Not tomorrow…right this minute.  Are you excited about this?  Are you ready to get going NOW?

If these are goals that you have been working on for years and not achieving, there may be other factors.

What are your fears regarding these goals?  What is holding you back?  What is standing in your way?  Now is the time to be honest about it and get out of your own way.

What are your strengths?  What parts of these goals can you totally rock?

What are your weaknesses?  What skills or changes do you need to make in order to achieve these goals?

What threats are out there, keeping you from achieving these goals?  How can you overcome them?  Having a plan now will help you when they arise.

What opportunities do you have for success?  Are you giving yourself the opportunity for success or are you denying yourself?  Has someone else given you the opportunity…why aren’t you taking it?

Try using this worksheet to help you think through these questions.  You can fill one out for every goal if you like, but if you’re like me, most of them are the same regardless of the goal.

Monday’s post will pull this all together and we’ll get started on finding that motivation and making a plan to achieve our goals NOW, as quickly as possible.  Take the next couple of days to really think through what you want and how quickly you want it.  Achieving your goals is possible!  Let me help you 🙂

I wish you an amazing weekend and I look forward to hearing from you!

Reyla